These 5 Things can Silently Kill a marriage

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These 5 Things can Silently Kill a marriage

Apart from infidelity, there are other things that can silently put a marriage asunder. “Marriage has never been a bed of roses” mothers always say this to their daughters. Humans are complex beings who vary in perception, culture, beliefs, preferences and goals. Below, marriage therapists share six behaviors that can silently kill a marriage.

You Don’t Maintain Friendship Outside Your Mariage: 

Maintaining friendship out of your marriage isn’t a bad idea at all. We had had close friends and classmates before getting into the marital union. Maintaining these old friends will do you more good as this fulfils all your socialisation needs and creates a networking opportunity. It’s paramount for couples to build and sustain a friendship with others. Through your friends, you can gain other experiences, perspectives and support that may actually enhance your relationship. You have to have confidants outside the relationship.”

keep high school friends



You Underestimate the Need for Touch:

Don’t allow touch deprivation to creep your marriage. There is a dire need for a sexual connection between spouse and touch is good at that. Research shows the many health benefits, improved attitude, and feelings of connection that are brought on by a simple physical touch. In this case, partners must not evade from the touch culture as it may sparkle and enlighten their relationship. I am not suggesting you touch your partner all the time because at certain instances he/she might not be in that mood. A sensual touch can ignite the passion in your marriage you may have literally lost touch with. Exploit those beautiful bodies. Ladies, touch him and let him touch you

Touch sparkles love



Your Couples Friends are a Bad Influence

This is a subjective statement. Bad company destroys character we all know that. If your spouse keeps friends that don’t add value to their lives then trust me they shall soon be influenced negatively. “Surrounding yourself with the wrong type of friends could negatively affect the health of your relationship,” said Laura Heck. Your friend’s actions are actively influencing your marriage, whether you realise it or not.  I think couples should be intentional when confiding to their inner circle of friends and be mindful how these relationships influence their mindset for better or for worse.i

You Don’t Help Clean Up Around the House



Assisting your spouse executing housework is quiet romantic, many couples testify. Household duties are not just for the women as it is in Africa where men are kings. The men sit in the living room reading newspaper or watching the news while the woman labours in the kitchen alone. Gone in those days! In fact, a 2015 study from the University of Alberta found that couples who didn’t split chores had less relationship satisfaction and less sex than couples who divvied up their chores.Women are happier with their marriages if they see eye-to-eye with their husbands when it comes to splitting up the chores equally.

You Don’t sit Down and Talk about your Relationship:


Hey, babe how was your day? what did you eat? All these routine checks do well in keeping a healthy relationship. Communication plays a pivotal role in every relationship and makes love last. Having intentional conversations about your relationship means asking deeper, more open-ended questions: ‘What did we do well at as a couple today?’ ‘What is something I did today to contribute to our relationship?’ ‘What is something I can do for you?’ ‘When did you feel the most connected with or loved by me today? Couples need to create time once a week to talk about their relationship, this will help them to discover certain aspects of their love lives and solve problems.


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As an outsider with strong ties to Cameroon and Africa in general I ask myself: Are there really so many differences between Anglophones and Francophones ? OK, when I’m in Cameroon I live in francophone Loum, only a couple of miles from Kumba, which is already in the Anglophone part of the country. I have noticed the first differences when going somewhere by public transport. Whereas in the francophone part you just jump in and pay, in the anglophone part you have to get a ticket first (as I had to in Limbé), and that process wasn’t really customer-friendly.

On the positive side I have the impression that Anglophones take work more seriously, and are more professional. Unfortunately I don’t understand Pidgin – that was one of the main reasons why I as a foreigner decided to live in the francophone part. Not that I like French as a language too much – my English is a lot better than my French, and my French doesn’t help me much in France, because I speak African French (I learnt it there)…..

But…these are minor differences. They’re all African first, and that has to be pronounced.

I know that Cameroun has lots of languages and ethnies – and I guess a common language is more than necessary for a country to function, given it wants to stay as it is. I have been following the Biafra trend, and I’m pretty sure that Southern Cameroon and Biafra, once it comes into existence (?), would like to unite. What would the French do about that ? Try Ruanda style or accept the wish of the population ? I mean, I have no right to judge as a foreigner, but to my understanding decisions ignoring the wish of the people never have a lasting chance.

But again…a common language removes barriers, doesn’t it ? Is the language REALLY the main criteria or not ? Aren’t there business (resources) considerations around ? You tell me.

Take Senegal. Almost everybody speaks Wolof. Or Mali, where the large majority speaks Bambara. Speaking the same language doesn’t mean losing identity. We Swiss speak French, German and Italian, and my mother tongue is German. But we all consider ourselves Swiss. Ok – it is a WANTED consensus, and has grown over centuries. Africa (not only Cameroon) didn’t have that chance yet due to unrightful colonization….but it can go the same way.

Unfortunately we live in a time where small entities can hardly survive. Globalization (USA and the West in fact) require strong economies outside of that circle to survive and assure the ability to say NO to the new economic colonization which replaced 19th century practices. We live in a time where Monsanto and the Pharma ruthlessly endanger human lives by their practices, they change Africa into monocultures for their own profit and destroy small farmers existences.

They test new drugs in remote areas of Africa where “accidents” never see the spotlight. The IMF/World Bank and other globalists have strangled Africa’s economies and put them in a spiral of credit, debt and paybacks, where the population does not profit at all. I could name a lot more of those negative aspects of globalization, but to get back to the main point:

Caesar said: Divide and rule. And when Africa lets itself divide, by countries, and by even splitting countries and creating new ones, FORCE is lost in the battle of independence and competition. In my view, only a united Africa which speaks with one voice, regardless of local idioms and languages (original ones or the remains of colonization), has a real chance to change from an exploited continent to one which can withstand the pressures of the West and the emerging Asian countries.

And for this to have a chance, people have to understand each other through a common language, whichever that may be. Otherwise a Batanga will never be able to understand a Bamiléké, a Peulh can’t speak to a Djoula, and a Malinké won’t understand a Wolof. Division might in the end just create that.

This Wine Appreciation Event will Expose the Secrets Behind Wine Consumption

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Wine Appreciation Event

 Iya restaurant Buea partners with Monica Kahindo  a wine expert from Toronto to give you all the best experience ever in the forthcoming wine appreciation event slated for January 6th, 2017  at Iya restaurant, 4 pm to 6 pm prompt. Monica the enthusiast will school you about certain perspectives you are ignorant about consuming wine and the benefits from the sundry wine types.

“Wine Appreciation” event which will help simplify and increase participants’ understanding of wine. The event will be a hands-on & relaxed experience and participants will leave with the practical knowledge that will help them continue to explore the world of wine with confidence.

The event will include the tasting of 8 wines from over 5 wine growing regions. Participants will explore:

  • Grape varieties
  • Different wine growing regions
  • Differences between old & new world wines
  • Up & coming wine growing regions
  • Basics of food pairing


Tickets sell for 4,000 FCFA per person. Payment can be made upon arrival at IYA (before the event) or via MTN MobileMoney: 674-083-472



How a Farmer’s Wife Built her Own Broadband Network.

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Broadband Network

In 2009, Christine Conder, developed a solution to her neigbour’s internet connectivity problems. This solution has evolved into a local broadband network.

Christine Conder, who sees herself as a farmer’s wife, is a revolutionary internet pioneer to 2,300 members of the rural communities of Lancashire. Her DIY solution to a neighbour’s internet connectivity problems in 2009, has evolved into B4RN, local broadband network. B4RN offers fast one gigabit per second broadband speeds to the parishes which nestle in the picturesque Lune Valley. That is 35 times faster than the 28.9 Mbps average UK speed internet connection according to Ofcom.

It began when the trees which separated Chris’s neighbouring farm from their only connection to the internet, provided by Lancaster University, grew too tall. They needed something more robust, but had no alternatives. So Chris purchased a kilometre of fibre-optic cable and dug a trench with her farm tractor.

“We dug it ourselves and we lit [the cable] ourselves and we proved that ordinary people could do it,” she says.

“It wasn’t rocket science. It was three days of hard work.”

Her motto, which she repeats often in conversation, is JFDI. Three of those letters stand for Just Do It. The fourth you can work out for yourself.

B4RN now claims to have laid 2,000 miles (3,218km) of cable and connected a string of local parishes to its network. It won’t connect a single household, so the entire parish has to be on board before it will begin to build. Each household pays £30 per month with a £150 connection fee and larger businesses pay more. Households must also do some of the installation themselves.

The local broadband network is so popular that they have work lined up for the next 10 years. Also, people from as far as Sierra Leone have attended the open days it holds a couple of times a year.